Interview with the Nth Anon for Modern Nitrous Journal

This might be about anything. When I get to that state…

Mmm… Aaaahhh…

What did I say last time? Cutting off the sensitory and breathing…

But getting to that state where you get up there to a certain level.

Now this time, try to keep the joint going, which is difficult, because you don't want the nitrous to squirt out and hit the fucking ash.

Uusuall the pot is like a booster, like a rocket.

This is a true experiment -- Ghost, we have to entitle this "One Balloon."

[The Ghost chuckles skeptically.]

Time to economize. And that's when I said, Have to get big balloons. But having the eys closed is certainly..

Now he takes more of the nitrous, and it's like orbiting in space. you're out of the gravity now baby. I feel the resin at the end of the joint, because this is some good pot. Some air…

Now, I'm regulating the nitrous level

By the way, just a little hint, if you're smoking a joint, and it goes out, put your finger on the end, and it will start up again.

Now I'm probably going to be high for a couple of minutes .. It's almost a relazing thing, like a beer and a shot. How many people can say, Hey, I had a nitrous and a joint last night.

Tell me what you think. I've got a feeling that in this state the internal dialog is shut off, or certainly not in full gear.

--I feel like your body sensation is cut off, which is profound.

Now I open my eyes for a couple of moments to take a sip of tonic, and it somehow grounded me -- it was like I landed on some planet, but I recognized it.
I had to take another hit of nitrous and of the pot to get back to the same level…

I never had this happen -- my hand's getting tired.

[Exhales deeply] There must be something to it. I'm going to take some more of this balloon now to get to a certain level. Now it seems like, and maybe it's the pot, there's a certain level you have inside of you, that you reach that level, that even if you're not doing, you have like six or seven, maybe ten breaths, and you're still at that level.

--Yeah, that's about it, six or seven breaths is about it.

Now, the last part is the end of the balloon. I take a hit off a joint and feel the resin on my lips, and a deep hearty breath. Aahh, this must be what heaven's like. I've been lucky, I've kept the joint lit the whole time. Now I want to bring myself up with the nitrous…

That's just sounds and noises, because some day we're going to record.

Don't get greedy, you're still up there…

Now for the finish. The thing is closing the eyes and shutting off the sensitory. The last of this balloon should be given equal consideration, as if it were the last one that we had, the last one that I was gonna do. Like every joint should be like the last one you have.

Now I'm ready to go off on another blast, hopefully. Maybe the prepatory breathing…
I got a feeling I'm going to go really up one more time on this balloon, so I'm going to do it right. Just going to breath in a little air, because the taste of the air, and the sound of the air.

Aaaahhh! Now I know I've probbly got two or three hits left of this nitrous. Like don Juan used to say, you have to live every moment as if if were your last moment.

Scene idea: the nitrous bar room, people hanging around, taking it easy, the hip club of the future, the nitrous night club, the big thing will be nitrous clubs, the hippest, hottest, and for some people horniest…

But where could you go and have your eyes closed? Not too many places. That's why you've got to have people you can trust.

Somebody has a tank, they've got five or six couches, it's a big room, the lighting is mellow, you've got a big screen TV, but not so big you think the whole fuckin world's in front of you. You've got always something playing, an interesting video, preferably something I did from my own personal history.

In the nirtous club, you've got waitresses. They go to the bar. You've got various mixes of nitrous. Like the guys who like the 25% are like the guys who drink Coke all day, because they don't want to get smashed.

Most clubs don't go lower than 25%, because you know, if you don't have a lot of money, you go with the 25%, because it's cheaper.
Me, I go for the 99%. None of the clubs can have 100%, because that's illegal.

I think I have got two more hits off of this balloon, before it's going to end. The last nitrous balloon in the world.

But that's the thing about the nitrous club, you can drink a little, smoke pot, but mainly it's just the nitrous. Some people like me go in for two balloons, and then, thanks a lot pal. Some guys are there at six in the morning waiting for their nitrous fix. But they're the people who would be strung out on some other drugs.

The people that cause trouble on nitrous, are the same people that would be causing trouble, but they'd be drunking beer and raising hell. Most peple can handle it, like smoking pot. Most people can drive and smoke pot and do nitrous. But you get a couple of assholes who want to do a balloon, and close their eyes while their driving.

You're driving around, you've got your babe next to you, a couple of friends in the back seat, sure, you take a hit or two, but…

Now we're going to have a test.

=====================

The Last Balloon of the Night
and it's going to honestly be my last balloon
but I better get another tonic

dateline: someplace in Massachusetts

he sips on his root beer, as the foam comes out as it opens

he's getting ready -- this is like a Sumo wrestler getting prepared for the match, or the swimmer at the end of the pool waiting to dive in, or the fucking karate guy breaking all those bricks

he takes a last few parting hits on the next to last balloon

now this is an epic you're never going to here anywhere else

Okay, we're going to describe the method here

Casually he puts the balloon over the nozzle of the nitrous, like a gentleman.

You want to get a certain level.

This is the last balloon for the night!

Now, you're at a friend's house. This is the scene. You're at the nitrous club. You say to your friend, hey, I'm going to have one more for the road.

So they fill the balloon as far as they could.

The waitress comes over and says it's the last call, and takes the tank. Luckily we got a balloon each.

In the future, they're ain't a lot of drugs, that's why people are doing panties. Nobbody does drugs anymore -- everybody is doing panties,, and nitrous. There are some other in-the-brain, microchip kind of drugs that other people use, but they're like the Hare Krishnas, because you pick them out of a a crowd, they're like fucking androids.

In the futuer, not too many pople have pot. If you have pot in the nitrous club, you're the king. I rmember back in the 90's we were smoking pot like it was going out of style, just like frigging air, there ws always more of it around. If you had told me there'd be more nitrous than pot…

But after Panty Cult, nitrous was the only thing to go for.

So, we're trying to conserve. Because now the fucking air is so fucking crummy, that it's like when I used to work in the chemical plant. If I knew then what I know, I would have appreciated every breath of air. I would have appreciated how good air tastes, how good it tastes. You've got a choice. You breath so much air, and it's like filter. There's no way to empty your filter out. Nitrous kinds of empties the filter.

This is the nitrous talking. It's almost like your mother's breast, that balloon, it's like security, like warmth. I love you, balloon. This is life.

In the nitrous bars no one fucks with you, because they've got some people with their eyes open watching things. If they'd had these bars in the 60's, there'd be no Vietnam. You'd be too mellowed out. The world had it right in their hand, the answer to the drug problem, nitrous. Just like those fucking Clinton people in the 90s and Reagan and Bush saying people can't get high, and ooh, it's the enemy…

We thought that tank was going to be the last tank we'd ever see. But we knew, something in me knew, we can't be the only ones doing nitrous, man. You've heard of the Panty Cult? Well, there's a nitrous cult out there too. Even more secretive -- you got to be , because that tank might be the last tank, and if you ain't got a connection man, it's just the nitrous and the pot you're smoking and the air you breathe.

It ain't just the nitrous talking. Some people are going to greak out when they read this, because they ain't open to the future. People are always going to get high. I don't care if you get high by running, lifting weights, swimming, any kind of sports, getting involved in something, even getting in front of your computer and creating -- even that's a high, man, but who's it hurting? Nobody. I never heard anybody saying, hey, I robbed that old lady because I needed some nitrous. It doesn't happen.

When you’re on your last nitrous bag of the night, you got to conserve it, every thought is like precious man.

You want it more concise? What would we do when we raise the stakes? Let's get comfortable. This is only going to take 10 minutes at the most.

The last balloon is resting, resting …

We've conserved the pot, we've conserved the nitrous, now we need to conserve the thought and the words. Other wise it would be the ramblings of an alcoholic.

Now for that last phase of the night. Air, nitrous, and pot.

By the end of that balloon, you don't care about the pot anymore. If this last part would have a name, it would be called, "Three More Drags" because that's all that's probably gonna be left in this balloon, the last balloon of the night.

This is the last balloon. This could be a performance art piece right now. This is the idea:

How do we go farther than here? We record it. How do we go farther than there? We videotape it. It would be like an undergorund film, a guy going a balloon of nitrous, he didn't know who it was or what he was doing, but he was doing somethijng, he had his eyes closed and his had a balloon, and every once in a while he would take a hit off the balloon. I didn't know what he was doing. It look like he was having a good time, he was smiling, he was grinning. I was watching this video of this guy, he was standing up, he had his eyes closed, he seemd like he was in heaven, and he kept on breathing on this balloon.

I'd never seen anything like this, like, this guy was grooving. I think it was on another planet, like that balloon was the last breath of air left on the planet, the last oxygen that anyone would every breathe, man, and that's what this balloon was, and he's breathing it, but I know it aint' air, cause he's breathing too, and the balloon is down to the last little peach -- he almost topples over, because it's almost about the end, the conclusion, the lst of the balloon, it's like after you ejaculate, there's a little come that still has to get out of there, it's that balloon, and he knew that this little bit wouldn't be enough to get him where he wanted to go, but it would be a reminder of where he'd been.